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No one will know what you are humming

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For the last few years, I have been co-captain of our neighborhood block watch, because apparently I do not have enough to do and so I need Even More Responsibility! Ah, well, it’s been good to see a small but committed community of neighbors coming together. Come the apocalypse, assuming that we are all at home, we will take a bit better care of each other than we might have. Nothing wrong with that.

In that spirit, I went with several of the neighbors yesterday to a free First Aid/CPR class offered by the city. I learned some things, although honestly I thought the first aid portion was too superficial — it was mostly based on video training which I thought wasn’t well-structured for teaching useful skills. I am thinking of how I would do this part differently, because there has got to be a better way.

It turns out that CPR has changed since I was last trained about 7 zillion years ago. There are now two versions on the menu, the real CPR and what I’m calling CPR-Lite, the hands-only version that means you don’t have to put your mouth on a stranger’s. It turns out, according to my instructor, that the average adult human in most cases of cardiac arrest has 4 to 6 minutes of oxygen in the bloodstream at any given time, and so keeping their heart beating can keep their brain alive for that time even if you don’t breathe for them. (It’s only 2 minutes for children.)

The problem is that if the heart in question has stopped beating because the person drowned or asphyxiated, there’s no oxygen there. And you don’t always know what happened when you stumble across a dead stranger….

Another thing that has changed in CPR is the compression/breath ratio. I learned 5 compressions, 2 breaths. Then I re-learned 15 compressions, 2 breaths. Now it’s 30 compressions, 2 breaths. Also, no pulse-checking or airway-inspecting. I think this is all fine. It’s easier for people to remember, and so many people can’t find a pulse even on themselves that taking precious time to check it on someone who is dying seems counterproductive.

    So here is what I learned, step by step, with my editorial comments:
  1. Assess the situation — is it safe to help? It’s amazing how many people didn’t do this step in the training. Stop, look and listen, cats and kittens! Because if you get hit by a car running out to save the accident victim, you are not helping.
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  3. Tap the shoulder and shout to see if the person is responsive. The old-school training was shake and shout. In other words, bang their head against the concrete several times in your panic, because that makes them easier to revive…
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  5. Tell someone to call 911. If you are in a public building and others are there, tell someone to get the AED (the basically idiot-proof defibrillator kit that most public buildings and businesses have now. They have pictures and they talk to you!). If no one is around, you’ll have to call 911 yourself. If you don’t have a phone or there’s no cell reception, you’ll have to make some tough choices. Our instructor advised to use your best judgment about leaving if the victim is adult, but not to leave an arrested child to find a phone — do at least 2 minutes of compression/breathing first, and then try like hell to find a phone and make that call in 2 minutes.
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  7. Make a 5-second check for obvious breathing. Look at the person from the head to the stomach. I think this is a very sensible update to the check airway/listen for breath step. Much more efficient. Because if they are breathing and you start compressing their chest or blowing in their mouth, you will probably not kill them. And if they wake up you will know, because they will probably punch you for whanging on them!
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  9. Begin CPR with 30 compressions at the rate of 100 compressions per minute, then 2 breaths, then repeat the cycle until help arrives, or someone else with training takes over, or you are too exhausted to continue. People in the class were surprised to find out how much work this is.

100 compressions per minute, it turns out, is essentially the pace/rhythm of “Staying Alive” by the Bee Gees. It’s also, to my great although possibly in-poor-taste amusement, the pace/rhythm of Queen’s “Another One Bites The Dust”. But as long as you are doing your best to save a life, who cares which song you’re doing it to? No one will ever know.
 

 

 

If you don’t know how to control bleeding, immobilize a broken limb, do the Heimlich Manuever*, or perform CPR, please go take a class! (* My instructor did say not to bother with the back blows if the person is truly choking; tell them you are going to perform the Heimlich, and then do it.)

Enjoy your day.


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